Underwear Say A Lot

A couple of months ago I was shopping at Bloomingdale’s on Fifth Avenue for a birthday present for my boyfriend, Nick. As I was standing at one of the checkout counters, I noticed a man standing on the other side in the men’s underwear section. He was around 60 years old, very well groomed, handsome, slick white and grey hair, a very expensive suit, and handkerchief. I took him for a big shot investment banker. And then I notice him grab a pair of bright tropical blue, almost neon thong underwear. We’re talking the kind of underwear that straight men would not, and should not ever wear. He looked at me to see if I was watching him. I did my best to pretend I was not. He then walked up to the counter and asked one of the helpers if they had that particular underwear in another size. Again, he looked at me to see if I was noticing him, and I again tried to look down and pretend not to notice. And then he started to hold up the thong in the air, checking it out, and I thought to myself, ‘you just never know underneath anybody’s clothes what type of underwear they’re really wearing.’ I guarantee whichever investment banking firm he works for is unaware of his alternative lifestyle.